In my work, a lot of the issues that I help people with stem from low self-esteem and poor self-confidence. When you examine what it means to have a low opinion of yourself or to doubt yourself it is usually rooted in a lack of ability to trust yourself. Failing to trust your own decisions, opinions, behaviour, thoughts or feelings leads to a constant need to look outside yourself for validation and improvement.
Many of us question ourselves and in order to feel better about a situation we look to others to take our side, to validate what we did and to reassure us that we were correct. An example of this would be when you stand up to a person who is trying to manipulate you and then start yo doubt whether you have behaved appropriately.It is common then to ask others – what do you think? Should I have done that? Was I right? Would you have done the same?
This week, if you have any tricky encounters at work or in your personal life, or if you question your behaviour or something you may have said, please stop yourself from checking with somebody else if your course of action was correct. The truth is that, what they think or don’t think is not really relevant. Stand over your own decisions and behaviour. When you practise an open and honest awareness of your behaviour, the only opinion that is relevant is your own. You will know if you have behaved out of turn or could have handled the situation better. If that is the case then take responsibility for yourself, apologise and do what you need to do to make the situation better. If you feel that you have behaved in a way that was fair and kind or if you needed to assert yourself, then rest assured that you have done the right thing. Trust youself!
Please take the time to check out my online, self-help program, The Positive Habit.