becoming friends with your pastI have a small wooden chair that I’ve had ever since I was very young. In fact, I think my parents bought it for my sister before I was  born. They got it in France and somehow it has moved around with me all of my adult life.

During the week, between clients, I caught sight of the small chair lying in the middle of the rug.  The chair is a relic of the past but also very much part of my life today as I still use this chair all the time, in fact, I’m sitting on it now. It’s perfect for meditating, drying my hair and writing! However, something about the empty chair struck a chord with me about how certain items we have had for many years carry an abundance of mixed memories.

A lot of the work  I do with my clients is about helping people to become friends with themselves, to be kinder to themselves and to care for and nurture the best that is in them; often it is past hurtful experiences that stop them from doing just that. Most of the time these experiences are not in our conscious awareness but they are present in the decisions and behaviours we exhibit.

Like many people, though not all thankfully, I have had certain experiences in my past that I am not proud of; relationships that have gone wrong, things I wish I hadn’t done or said, silly mistakes made in the tumultuous teenage years. Thankfully, I  have come to terms with these things and have no regrets realising that both the negative and the abundance of positive experiences have shaped who I am today.

It struck me while looking at the little chair, that becoming friends with your past is fundamental to becoming friends with your present and truly being able to let the best of you shine through in the now.  You are only defined by your past if you choose to be. becoming friends with yourself

This week, consider how your past impacts on you today and consciously let go of anything that could be holding you back. Having buckets of compassion for yourself and anyone who may have hurt you will help you on this journey to nurturing the most important relationship in your life- the one you have with yourself.

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